When the Dragon year forecast is not good for you....

January 2012 and suddenly I began having a sinking feeling. 

The amount in my bank account was sinking. 

The feng shui men were selling predictions for the year of the dragon, and according to them, my luck was sinking. 

A friend calls with an urgent need to borrow some money. 

My brain started clogging up with worries. 

I was not in my best spirits as the year of the dragon started. 

On that night when welcoming the Wealth God, my fengshui consultant aunt had us all face South, which was where the Wealth God was coming from this year. 

After lighting the joss sticks and saying our wishes facing South, she gave me two twenty cent coins and asked me to throw them on the ground. 

This is the traditional practice of throwing a pair of indicators to the ground after you've made your wish or request. If both sides of the indicator face up or down, then the answer is "no." But if one indicator faces up and the other down, then, the wish or request has come or will be granted.  

I threw the pair of twenty cent coins to the ground. Both coins landed with the number 20 side up. I was asked to throw them again. And once more, both sides with the number 20 faced up. My aunt said, if I got the same results for the 3rd time, then that would be a very strong "yes" and that means the God of Happiness would come to me. So with hope (and a little bit of stress) I threw the coins for the 3rd time. This time both coins had different faces showing. That meant my request was not granted. 

So Aunt asked me to do the entire ritual again, beginning with lighting the 9 joss sticks, saying my wishes facing South, then throwing the 2 coins to get an answer.  Again, I threw the coins 3 times, because the results came back exactly the same. So, with disappointment, Aunt asked me to go walk outside the house and get bathed by the moonlight. 

Ohhh.... how embarassing to find out my wish was not going to be granted. To tell the truth, while I was undergoing the entire ritual, my head felt a little heavy from all the sinking feeling like a whirlpool was going inside me.

 Once I walked out of the house, my head felt a little clearer and I didn't go back to the ritual again. I thought to myself, it doesn't matter, cos I have to believe that my fate is not determined by that Wealth God who was coming tonight. 

Maybe I made too many wishes. That's right. I must be too greedy. I prayed for my finances, for all the projects I wanted to do, I prayed for love, I prayed for safety, health, prosperity, happiness for me, my friends and my family. That's too much and too general to be granted. That was it. Why must I be so greedy? Why couldn't I simply ask for 1 thing? I felt that that was my problem all my life. I was always worried because I wanted all of these things. 

So I just stayed out in the moonlight watching the celebrations and prayers going along, taking photographs of fireworks. 

The next morning, on the 1st day of the year of the dragon, our family members visited the temples as usual. I prayed again to my gods and goddesses for love, for safety, health, prosperity and happiness. I also submitted my request to the temple monks to pray away the "Grand Duke of Jupiter," the big energy that affects personal and directional fengshui every year. Since my animal zodiac sign was in conflict with the Duke's energies this year, I had to pray to hold it back to lessen the negative effects. 

As I am writing now, it had been 5 days since. A friend was encouraging me yesterday to prepare my proposal for likely funding, and was going to help me with the contacts. Today, another friend suddenly calls me after a long absence, telling me that he wanted me to work with another mutual acquaintance who had ready funding. 

So, I told myself that I had to psyche up my mind so as not to sink into death. Abraham Hicks has always helped me. So, once again I searched the videos on youtube and clicked "play." Once again, I wanted to go through the kind of life I wanted rather than feel heavy with the life I did not want.