Don't Hate Me 'Cos I'm Beautiful
Just a few days ago, I sat and listened to a 10-year-old girl strut and sing a very popular song, a song I might have heard before but never really paid any attention to. Well, that tune is now in my head the whole day, and the lyrics says "don't hate me cos I'm beautiful."
I've been singing this line in my head over and over again. When I was listening to that spunky girl singing, I questioned those words.
What kind of girl dared to say those words? She would be so amazing. Girls hate girls who are over-confident about their beauty. Is that a talent?
I'm sure that if I had met someone like that in school, I would have hated this person...cos I was the girl not even other girls could remember. And here, there would be this one pretty girl who knew she was being looked at, gossiped about -- by other girls because of her beauty. And yet, inside each girl who gossiped about her, we would have this secret longing to get the kind of attention which is the privilege for a beautiful girl.
Truthfully, I have never said "don't hate me 'cos I'm beautiful." I still don't think I could ever say it. And I can't imagine it coming out from my mouth. But instead, I have thought these words: "He must have left me because I'm ugly."
This is the confession of a woman who doesn't think much about herself. She wished she was as beautiful as that actress, as beautiful as her boyfriend's ex-girlfriend, as beautiful as that girl everyone is talking about...
Just those few words coming out of a 10-year-old's singing left such questioning and challenge in this older woman's soul. I could almost cry just thinking of these words.
I have no conclusion from it. It's just made me realize how much I couldn't accept of myself, and how much I looked down on myself. Maybe I can get an answer for myself soon.
I've been singing this line in my head over and over again. When I was listening to that spunky girl singing, I questioned those words.
What kind of girl dared to say those words? She would be so amazing. Girls hate girls who are over-confident about their beauty. Is that a talent?
I'm sure that if I had met someone like that in school, I would have hated this person...cos I was the girl not even other girls could remember. And here, there would be this one pretty girl who knew she was being looked at, gossiped about -- by other girls because of her beauty. And yet, inside each girl who gossiped about her, we would have this secret longing to get the kind of attention which is the privilege for a beautiful girl.
Truthfully, I have never said "don't hate me 'cos I'm beautiful." I still don't think I could ever say it. And I can't imagine it coming out from my mouth. But instead, I have thought these words: "He must have left me because I'm ugly."
This is the confession of a woman who doesn't think much about herself. She wished she was as beautiful as that actress, as beautiful as her boyfriend's ex-girlfriend, as beautiful as that girl everyone is talking about...
Just those few words coming out of a 10-year-old's singing left such questioning and challenge in this older woman's soul. I could almost cry just thinking of these words.
I have no conclusion from it. It's just made me realize how much I couldn't accept of myself, and how much I looked down on myself. Maybe I can get an answer for myself soon.
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